I was inspired to write this About Me page. Because I know my story will be extremely similar to other victims of narcissistic abuse.
I am a 29-year-old female living on the beautiful island of Oahu in the Hawaiian Islands.
I have five beautiful children and am currently pregnant to my sixth.
Currently I am in Narcissistic Abuse Recovery myself.
MY ABUSE STORY
Leaving a narcissistic and abusive marriage of 3 years. My abuser took advantage of me in every way: physically, psychologically, financially, and emotionally.
He did pretty much everything a narcissistic abuser could do to hurt their victim.
My (then) husband did some very heartless things to me. All the while thinking I needed to “deal with it” because “I hurt him“. Everything was my fault and there was nothing (and I mean NOTHING) I could do or say to convince him otherwise.
Even though he would have his fits (what I call it), eventually he would stop. And within the next few weeks have the same fit about the same thing.
Now when I say “fit” I mean torture. He would punch me, slap me, backhand me, kick me, anything to physically hurt me. All the while being verbally, emotionally, and psychologically abusive. Trying to convince me how terrible of a person I was. How I was a selfish b**** and deserved everything he did to me.
I knew better than this though. I had to agree with him during the abuse or he would get more violent if I denied anything. Even if I said something he didn’t like.
I endured this type of abuse for about 3 years, on and off. Some times were more extreme than others. Sometimes he would hit me once and sometimes he would repeatedly punch/slap/kick me.
Every time he did this it was blindly.
His explosive moments had no warnings and there was never any signs that he would start the abuse. I was constantly walking on eggshells.
Not understanding the extremity of the mental effects it was having on me until this very last time, where I permanently left him.
After reading so many e-books and so many websites on narcissism and domestic violence I discovered his problem and mine.
Learning how to cope with the reality and not the false persona I created of my marriage. Specifically the false persona I created of him.
I thought I was in love with HIM but I realized that I was in love with the person I WANTED HIM TO BE. Because the person I was with and the person I WISHED I was with were 2 COMPLETELY different people.
After leaving the marriage I got a divorce and had to pick myself up mentally, physically, and financially to get my life back on track.
There were many MANY times he would text, call, and harass me at work. But I didn’t let any of it make me go back to him. Because I knew it wasn’t worth it anymore. I had done everything I could for this guy and the treatment did not get any better. Everything stayed the terrible same.
Coming to this realization I decided to find a way to help others who are struggling in these types of abusive relationships.
I wanted to help them in every aspect of recovery: mental, physical, financial.
Which is what gave me the drive to make this website. I wanted to reach out to other women like me who are/were in the situation I was in.
I understand from the victims point of view perfectly what it’s like to be stuck in a situation like that. By no means am I a professional, specialist, or expert in abusive/narcissistic relationships. But I am a strong recovering woman of narcissistic abuse. And I am willing to share my experience and knowledge about this subject to help other victims out there.
For example, many people around you, I’m sure, do not know about it. Or they know about it but do not understand why you stick around.
I definitely relate to both. Because I’ve been in that situation.
The abusive experience I endured taught me so much about myself and how strong I actually am. After everything my abuser did to me I am doing SO MUCH BETTER!
Currently, I am in a very happy place in my life. Although the recovery takes some time and a lot of acceptance and effort. It is well worth it.
And I hope this website meets your expectations in your recovery process.
I wish the absolute best of luck to you and hope you come to the same realization I did.
That you are worth so much more than what he says.