What a question. Can Narcissism be cured?
Through research it is shown that narcissism is not curable. But I am sure it can be treated towards a lesser extent over time. Most narcissists understand the things they are doing. There are some however that do not understand the size or extent of their actions. In order for change and healing to take place they need to KNOW what they are doing and the effects of it.
- Lack of Empathy
- Feelings of Entitlement/Superiority
- Compulsive Lying
- Belittling people
- Abusive (Find out in detail what this means here: Types of Abuse )
If your partner, friend, or even co-worker are experiencing any of these traits then you are most likely dealing with a narcissist. If that’s the case then let’s get to it.
What Made The Narcissist?
Most of the time someone becomes narcissistic from childhood. They have experienced some sort of trauma or pain that has taught them to put themselves first. No matter what. In childhood they most likely have been abused and/or neglected, some worse than others. Now with abuse and neglect comes the trauma.
Remember narcissists are very sensitive people. Which is the reason they want to be constantly recognized, praised and put as the center of attention. Inside of themselves is a hurt little boy/girl who was not raised correctly or even decently. They need to feel as if they are great so as not to bring out the insecurity and pain within themselves.
Don’t get me wrong, this does not excuse what the narcissist does to hurt other people. But it does give us an insight as to why they are the way they are. And like I said earlier, some of them don’t even realize that they have become a narcissist because of this.
How Can They Not Know What They Are Doing?
Not all people know what a narcissist is. In their minds they think that something is off about this person. But they just can’t put their finger on it. I myself did not even KNOW the word until I started dating one. It is actually very sad when you think about it.
They literally become the people they were abused from. And turn into a person they never thought they would be. Don’t get me wrong. Again this is no excuse for their actions. But this is literally all they know. In order to help the narcissist see what has become of them one needs to get into the root of the cause. And to start out they need to be honestly, but carefully, told the truth.
That they are selfish, manipulative, abusive, and wrong for everything bad that they are doing.
How Can I Help Them See Their Narcissism?
The best and safest way to do this is gently and calmly. Do not provoke them or it may cause them to react negatively or violently towards you. They will most likely be in denial and it could be dangerous to do this. If you are with an abusive narcissist then you should NOT do this on your own. Even for a moment.
Seek a professional, like a therapist, to help coach you through it. Someone who specializes in Narcissistic Personality Disorder is perfect. Be safe at all times and do not push the narcissist at all.
The most you can do is bring it up to them if you feel safe doing this. You cannot force them into realization and change. This part takes time.
It is something like an alcoholic, just for example. You can tell them that there an alcoholic and they may or may not act out violently. Maybe the first few times they’ll just brush you off like something’s wrong with you.
But as you keep reminding them, their realization will start to sink in. If other people close to them start agreeing with you they will probably begin to get angry. Either feeling like everyone is out to get them or the reality of this observation is starting to become real to them or both.
You talk to them about rehabilitation and therapy and they may lash out at you or shut you out. This is a normal reaction.
The same thing goes for a narcissistic person. They have an “addiction” that needs to be treated and addressed but will most likely fight you before any treatment begins. Things like this take time, patience, and a lot of love. But it IS possible for a narcissist to be helped.
Can I Change the Narcissist?
Do not put this responsibility on yourself. It takes a lot of energy and strength out of a person that is trying to “help” a narcissist. Helping them as best you can as far as treatment goes is fine. But do not let them overburden you. They will try to put it all on you and will most likely blame you if things don’t go their way.
Remember, narcissists do anything to get their way. And they will probably think that they will manipulate and lie their way through this to get you to back off. Which is why it is very important to get a professional that has been doing this for a while. Again, do NOT put the entire burden on yourself.
You will do nothing good for you and will only drain yourself of life.
How Long Until I See Any Results?
Bluntly, you may never see results. Or you may see very slow results. Again, taking the example of an alcoholic. They will only change if they REALLY want to, within themselves. But first they need to recognize their problem, confront it, accept it, then address it. And getting through the first part alone will be like going through war.
This is not going to be easy. It may be one of the hardest things ever. It may never work out. They may never change. Or you may get lucky and see a little glimmer of honest hope. Only you know the narcissist and what to look out. Only you can recognize the genuine from the fake, especially if you’ve known them for a long time.
I am not saying it is impossible for them to change but they need to WANT to change. And not all people WANT to change. So if you’ve done everything you could do for them. If you have gone above and beyond to help them as best as you could. It is okay to give up. They are grown adults and have their own free will to choose their life. If they do not realize your love, effort, and support then they really are fools.
They are not your responsibility.