Narcissistic people are very clever, sneaky, and very good at hiding the truth. They are manipulative compulsive liars and will do and say anything to get their way. And it doesn’t matter who they need to ram through to get it.
This may not seem like the case when you FIRST start dating a narcissist. In fact, you most definitely will not be able to tell in the beginning if you have found a narcissistic partner. They usually tend to unconsciously and unknowingly convince you of how perfect they are. Leaving you looking at them weird every now and then but brushing it off. Then when you’re in a comfortable place they strike! Leaving you thinking soon after, “How did I get here?!”…not realizing you were going through the phases the WHOLE TIME without knowing it.
Here are 13 questions to ask yourself in order to find out if you may be dealing with a Narcissist. It is EXTREMELY LIKELY that you ARE dealing with a narcissist if you get 10 out of these 13 answers as ‘Yes’.
Be careful! You should definitely DIP out of that relationship and QUICK before you regret it!
13 Question Quiz: Are YOU Dealing with a Narcissist?
01) Do you always have to feed their ego?
If you feel like you constantly need to admire, reassure, and praise this person? If you do, they are not only needy but you are most likely dealing with a narcissist.
It’s one thing to compliment someone or make them feel good, especially if your dating them, but to have to constantly reassure their ego? No that’s definitely NOT normal.
02) Do they get jealous easily?
This can be in a few different ways. Are they jealous of your success? Are they jealous of how close you are with your family? Do they become upset if you get to close to your opposite sex friend?
If they do any of these things mark this question with a yes. They may just have insecurity issues but if their emotions escalate in a situation where it shouldn’t to an extreme that it shouldn’t.. something is not right.
03) Are they extremely self-centered?
Meaning – do they act like their some superior god that you have been ever so lucky to have come into your life.
Most narcissist have a HUGE sense of pride and grandiosity. They think your the lucky one to have them in your life. They think everyone who steps in their shadow should be more than grateful to even be acknowledged by them. Conceited to another level. If there’s a huge question mark above your head when you talk or hang out with them in this way then you may be dealing with a narcissist.
04) Do they seem a bit TOO controlling?
A narcissists main goal is to control anyone and anything to get what they want. You are only an asset to the narcissist for when they need you to get their way. They are very controlling people.
Are you told what you should be wearing or how your hair should be styled? Not allowed to wear makeup? Unable to talk to the opposite sex at work? Are they allowed to look through your phone but you can never look through theirs?
This is a sign of a narcissistic person. You will be pushed in this way to the extreme eventually and will have absolutely no free choice. This includes in the way you think, talk, or act if you allow the control to become that severe.
05) Are they extremely boastful, arrogant, and conceited?
You will recognize this distinction instantly. A narcissistic person LOVES to talk about themselves and can’t help but to brag about everything and anything. From their looks, to their career, school, family, friends, etc.
It is normal to have a pride in your family or successes but in this case they will not shut up about it and constantly bring it up.
06) Are they selfish and have no regards to your feelings?
The only feelings that are important is the narcissists feelings. No matter what happened to you or what you went through (or are going through) it is NOTHING compared to what the narcissist is going through or feeling.
They may show a little sympathy in the moment because they need to put on the act like they care (when they don’t). But you will find that they get quickly bored with listening to your feelings and change the subject back to themselves very often.
It doesn’t matter if you lost your job and can’t afford a place to live the narcissist will find a way to talk about himself once again, making the situation about himself. He will find a reason why you need to feel bad for him and think of his feelings/situation first, because in his eyes he’s the only one that matters.
07) Do they seem to exaggerate unrealistic fantasies?
Many narcissists exaggerate being successful in some type of fashion to an extreme in some type of way. Whether it’s beauty, power, brilliance, or success they will seem preoccupied in this fantasy of being great.
They probably told you something like they are special because they were put on this earth for a bigger purpose and nobody but you knows it. This is ok for a normal person but for a narcissist it will be exaggerated to the extreme.
For example, they insist that they will become the greatest, most successful singer in the world even though they may sound terrible or have never performed in front of an audience. Or maybe they are destined to be the worlds greatest scientist even though they have little to no experience in the field and never even went to college.
08) Do you notice how they belittle everyone?
In order to feel great about themselves narcissists need to make everyone else small. They will find every and any reason to make someone else seem unimportant or stupid, even you. They are very insecure so this is a tool they use to make themselves feel like their worth it.
Narcissist insult everyone and anyone. Talk behind someone’s back and smile in their face afterwards. Sometimes they won’t even acknowledge a person just to make them feel small, even if that person did nothing wrong to them.
09) Do they talk and act like they are entitled to everything?
A narcissist thinks that everything belongs to them and that they are in control of everyone. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve known them or if you just met them. In their eyes they are entitled to everything and everyone.
For example, they expect you to let them use your car whenever they want even if they don’t put any gas in it and disrespect you by not cleaning up after themselves when they use it. Or maybe they expect you to buy them food whenever you both go out because your their other half and that’s your job, regardless of how much money they may make.
10) Are they using others to reach their goals with no feelings of guilt whatsoever?
Remember, a narcissist only focus is themselves and getting their way. And if it means they need to lie, manipulate, and even destroy other people to get their way they will do it.
Sometimes they go completely opposite and put on a show to others nicely to get what they want out of them. Most of the time people never really notice it unless a narcissist becomes threatening or violent, which is actually a very common thing when it comes to dealing with a narcissist.
11) Is it everyone else’s fault with the narcissist?
Is he constantly blaming everyone else for his mistakes? Does he ever take responsibility for his own actions? Probably not.
A narcissist will never admit to fault, meaning he is NEVER to blame for ANYTHING! It wouldn’t matter if he cheated on you because you weren’t the one giving him attention so its your fault why the cheating happened. Even if he lost his job by being lazy and unethical it would be YOUR fault for some reason.
He will never admit to his faults. He will never take responsibility. And he will always, in every situation, find a reason why it is someone else’s fault. No matter how big or small the situation. Plain and simple.
12) Are they TOO sensitive?
What this means is they get offended very easily or they takes little things too personal and in a way you never meant it. This usually has you going, “What?” because you CANNOT seem to figure out why they are acting like that.
They may even get angry at you thinking you did or said something to hurt them when that just isn’t the case. A narcissist is very sensitive and will over exaggerate things that is uncalled for and unnecessary.
They may get upset at you for suggesting for them to wear a different color shirt. Accusing you of something drastic like saying it was your ex-boyfriends favorite color, then being angry at you all day for it. This may seem extreme to a normal person but that is the type of over-the-top things a narcissist will do.
13) Lastly, are they abusive?
Abuse can come in many different forms: emotional/psychological, verbal, physical, or even spiritual and many more. A narcissist has usually perfected most of them.
The most common forms of abuse are emotional and physical. The emotional abuse gets into the deep depths of your mind while the physical abuse is self-explanatory. Check out my blog on Types of Abuse for more information and insight on this and how to recognize it.
There you have it. If you marked the answer ‘Yes’ to 10 or more of these questions then you are definitely dealing with a narcissist and you need to get OUT of that relationship NOW before things take a turn for the worst. And they will.